Being Single vs. Being in a Relationship in Your 20's

courtesy fanpop.com

There aren’t many people who have been engagement ring shopping one moment, then the next thing you know, you’ve changed your relationship status on Facebook to single.  (Then I immediately selected the “Hide from Timeline” button because you weren’t ready to face the world yet).  This is the part where I say I’m not a relationship expert.  I truly believe nobody in the world is.  If you say you are, you’re full of shit. 

It amazed me the types of relationship changes I went through.  Not just with the people around me, but with myself.  It was a complete 180 degree change from what I was used to.  Here are some of the comparisons I had to deal with.

In a Relationship: “What do you want for dinner?”

Single: “Bagel chips, hummus, and an avocado is a great meal, plus Real Housewives of Miami is on, I’m busy.”

In a Relationship: “Babe, can you do me a favor?”

Single: “This painting looks fine on the floor, it’s art, I swear I saw this on Sex and the City once.”

In a Relationship: Gain 15 pounds

Single: Either gain or lose 15 pounds

courtesy belelu.com

In a Relationship: “Ugh, do we have to dress up?”

Single: “I’m going to WalMart, I need to curl my hair.”

In a Relationship: “Should we bring wine to your mom for dinner Sunday night?”

Single: “I’m getting wasted with mom Sunday night.”

In a Relationship: “Do you mind keeping busy, I’m going out with the girls?”

courtesy essense.com

Single: “Let’s go out bitches!”

In a Relationship: All of your friends have a significant other

Single: Wine and the television remote is your significant other

In a Relationship: *take a picture of a shirt you found that would look so handsome on him*

Single: *take an “accidental” cleavage shot after touching up your makeup*

In a Relationship: “What do you want to do tonight?”

Single: “Sorry, I just took off my bra and pants, so I’m staying in tonight.”

In a Relationship: “You’re having friends come over?”

Single: “Bring wine.”

In a Relationship: “Want to get busy tonight?’

Single: “I haven’t shaved in a week.”

In a Relationship: 1 missed call

Single: 43 text messages, 3 missed calls, 17 Facebook notifications

My “lifelong friends” absolutely disappeared from my life the moment I became single.  It was as if I had a fucking disease or something.  I also had a total of eight wedding invitations greet me in the mail moments after signing my new lease to my one bedroom apartment.

However, I’ve enjoyed the time alone.  The “hands down my pants, watching whatever the hell I wanted on television, asking my dog for relationship advice time” to myself. 

I had this small group of girlfriends I met working at a famous lingerie store.  (I know I work a trillion hours a week, but at the time my boyfriend was playing baseball in another state, so it was just something to get the time to go by while I waited for him to come home).  These girls, my angels (perfectly nicknamed this), never left my side.  They met me while I was in a relationship, stayed while things got serious in that relationship, when things ended; and they’re still here now when I’m starting at the beginning.  The best advice I can give you is to find people like this in your life.  My family loves me so very much, and I’m including those girls in that category.  I’ve had some dark moments in the last year, and they were still there the next day to grab a cup of coffee and talk about everything.  They are my strength and my reason for motivation every single day.  When you find people like this, hold on to them.  They are invaluable.

on the road (courtesy favim.com)

Slowly, but surely I’m starting to date again.  I’m trying to have fun with it.  I’m maybe even developing feelings. It’s too soon to tell.

With that said, I want you to know, the reader (or just my mother and best friend who felt obligated to read this), I am a true believer in love.  If you ask any of my friends, I’m a hopeless romantic believe it or not.  I hide behind baseball stats and football scores, but you bet your ass when I fall in love, I fall hard.  I think in order to fall in love, you have to believe it exists.  And it does.  But you also have to be willing to deal with the bullshit and difficult times love introduces to you.  Romance movies (and your Pinterest board) completely screwed up reality for relationships and marriages.  If you think love is easy, you probably shouldn’t put another person through such heartache.  That’s not fair to you or them. 

Either way, life is such a beautiful mess.  I can’t tell you the amount of times I have been told I’ll never make it as a sports journalist, I’ll never get married, I work too much.  Blah Blah. Blah.  Who cares?  Talk a walk in my 4 inch heels, then you can judge.  Everyone should be allowed to have it all.  Sometimes you just have to wait for the right time.  That person will come in to your life when you are absolutely ready.  Until then, when you start thinking those negative thoughts about never falling in love, remember there is someone out there who is absolutely crazy about you.  That person could very well be reading this article, right now.  Or if you’re really lucky, she’s writing it.